@primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
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@Scdavis24: Two things I will never understand the appeal of: 1) Open relationships 2) Hairless cats
@funflaps: lawyer: your husband said he wanted his body to be embalmed like an egyptian mummy me: yes, I've abided by his wishes lawyer: he meant for you to do it after he died
@evidentlyblonde: When I'm bored nobody texts me but as soon as I get busy as hell... BAM... still nobody texts me.
@UnFitz: My body is a temple. My mind is a comedy club. My apartment is a landfill. My car is a fast food restaurant. I could do this all day.