@primawesome: Wait what do you mean Jesus loves me? Did he say something to you? OMG I'm freaking out right now tell me his exact words.
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@corysnearowski: My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving
@KeetPotato: playboy: "apparently they just read it for the articles" [takes out all nude women] every man on earth: "well this has back-fired massively"
@moose_chocolate: Fox has cancelled American Idol. From Now on, if I want to listen to bad music, I'll have to listen to Pitbull just like everyone else.