@Tups13: Wait. What? You need two people for sex? What does the other one do?
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@TheAlexNevil: My first job in retail taught me that the customer is always right. Until they're out of earshot.
@djdarrellripley: My toliet has a lifetime guarantee! I never have to buy another one. When I die, my kid will inherit the throne. It'll be like Shakespeare!
@emptydahl: Sometimes I wonder about those old mattresses in the alleys, the stories they could tell. The ones about me are lies of course.
@autocorrects: Do I turn left when nothing is right? Or do I turn right when there's nothing left?