@Tups13: Wait. What? You need two people for sex? What does the other one do?
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@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* "You get 2 wishes." I wish I got 3 wishes. "Your wish is granted." Nice, nice. "You have 2 left."
@doktorj: Me: "Can you go back four slides?" Bride: "To the wedding dress?" Me: "No, the cheese plate." Me: Wipes tears.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: I know you're not supposed to question doctors, but it's weird how my dentist keeps insisting on checking my prostate.