@mdob11: [waiting for elevator]
Coworker: Hey, how's it go-
Me: I'll take the stairs.
@ErrenMichaels: You threw. Our tea. In the harbour. And then you changed the spelling of harbour. We do not. Forget.
@DanMentos: [walks up to guys playing basketball]
"mind if I join?"
you any good?
Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere
@DaddyJew: "Daddy, what happens when we die?"
"You get married and have kids"
@dollarslices: the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates
@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down.