@FattMernandez: Walk like an Egyptian is a song, but also a sure fire way to make it safely through a bad neighborhood.
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@jwoodham: Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run.
@jctwritesstuff: [First Date] Me: So this has been great. *moves in for a kiss* Me: Jesus, a little handsy there. Octopus: I can't... I can't help it.
@MavenofHonor: The worst thing about coming home from a trip isn't unpacking, it's the looming threat of nuclear war
@hurlarious: I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous