@staceaustin: Walked in for bread, walked out with 6 bottles of wine. Now we're having communion for dinner.
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@joe_binkley: What kind of country do we live in when an artist like Sia won't take advantage of the freedom to change her last name to Lateralligator?
@hangin_out: Blood is thicker than water. Maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it.
@CheetoBandito77: *turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*
@_Enanem_: I've discovered a magical land through the back of the wardrobe, it's inhabitants are similar to my neighbours, albeit a lot more hostile.