@staceaustin: Walked in for bread, walked out with 6 bottles of wine. Now we're having communion for dinner.
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@ArfMeasures: *burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid DOCTOR: You mean constipated ME: No I've had a vowel movement DOCTOR: Get out
@Gre_Gone: *clicks on hotel tv's Adult Zone* "Oh hell yeah." *it's just a bunch of people paying bills and doing yard work* "...Oh hell yeah."
@tylerschmall: *walks into Babies R Us* Hi I'd like to buy a baby. "Sir we don't-" *I slide him a 100 dollar bill* "This way please."