@staceaustin: Walked in for bread, walked out with 6 bottles of wine. Now we're having communion for dinner.
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@lisaxy424: When the party host collects everyone's coats and throws them on their bed, I just stay in mine and take a nap among the jackets.
@crushingbort: "Mr Bush, do you want my coke?" "Yeah sure" *Bush drinks coke as kid walks away* "Hey kid...catch" *kid turns around to see incoming plane*
@Book_Krazy: Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?
@shawnspree: Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive.