@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.
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@timdonakowski: Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
@DirtMcTurd: I just did my own taxes for the first time and I'm glad I did because I'm getting 8 million dollars back this year!
@OuterJohn: When people do a bunny impression they go straight for the cute little front paws. Not me. I fearfully sprint into traffic.