@deardilettante: Walking around cemeteries looking at headstones is a great way to come up with baby names.
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@VestaTot: Help 9-1-1! I just found my husband! He's been drugged in his coffee and then stabbed with a pen knife but that didn't work and then shot!
@edanto_: Your girlfriend is so good in bed but can't do house chores. When your relatives complain you be like "You guys don't know her very well"
@Jeffwni: - "... He accidentally drank some radioactive milk and became_ - MILKMAN!! - No. He became gravely ill and died. What are you? An idiot?!"