@robdelaney: Walking around Houston airport taking iPads from unattended kids. I have 4 so far.
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@alldrolledup: A Post-It note on every wine bottle at home that just says DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR AGAIN THAT WAS BAD
@moose_chocolate: If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea.
@kelkulus: The US Defense budget is 40x bigger than NASA's. It's surprising we actually went to the moon instead of blowing it up.