@robdelaney: Walking around Houston airport taking iPads from unattended kids. I have 4 so far.
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@markydoodoo: If you're havin AutoCorrect problems I feel bad for you son. I got 99 parabolas bit s butch Saint omg.
@Bob_Heller: Sorry I borrowed your pen and performed that emergency tracheotomy that turned out not to be an emergency. And sorry about your neck hole.
@PJTLynch: People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio
@DaddyJew: 7: I didn't do my homework Me: why not? 7: they told us to write about the new president Me: so? 7: you told me not to cuss