@lecalabara: Wanna know the secret to a good marriage? Sleep. Cant do anything wrong while sleeping. Unless you talk in your sleep, then youre dead.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Most Trump supporters favorite Disney character is the hunter who shot Bambi's mom and we all know it.
@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying
@TheChrisAngel: By tomorrow night America will be in a turkey induced coma. On Friday...Canada attacks.
@apok842: You lost your phone and it is on silent? Too bad. If you liked it you should have put a ring on it.