@yonewt: I know someone who puts raisins in meatballs so don't even try to talk to me about psychos

@spacej_me: Sorry you handed me your baby and I immediately put it in the garbage I thought that's what we were doing.

@kaatilana: Error 609: When your kid sleeps in between.

@daemonic3: My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched.

@juicymorsel: Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.