@weinerdog4life: Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose.
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@pitbull_wizard: [blind date is waiting nervously at the table] *I slowly emerge out of my own massive vape cloud and begin walking towards her*
@vikkaroni: You're never too old to throw random shit in people's shopping carts when they aren't looking.
@cajones113: Customer: I can't see. How many sugar and fiber are in this bar? Me: 7 sugar 5 fiber C: That's not very healthy... Just the smokes then.