@weinerdog4life: Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose.
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@JeffSarcastic: [dinner negotiations] Wife: where do you want to go to eat? Me: ugh Wife: Me: you pick Wife: I'm craving kale Me: I'll pick
@arealliveghost: if I were in a comic book I would never wear clothes, I would just constantly scream a huge speech bubble over my body