@weinerdog4life: Wanna piss a rhinoceros off? Hang his car keys on his nose.
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@Fredzipfel: Wife is painting the upstairs bedrooms. It's not in my nature to sit still while she slaves away so I went up and complained about the color
@matsmoustache: I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.
@weinerdog4life: Don't ever ask a burrito if you should eat it, it will always say no, because burritos are really smart.