@thesulk: "Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?" "Can't. Scared." "Of the water?" "No. Palindromes."
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@kimlockhartga: 1968: One day, computers will improve every area of our lives. 2018: Watching a rapper take a bath with a hairless cat.
@Reverend_Scott: [interview] "Where you see yourself in 5 years?" Doing your job. "And me?" Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*
@ddsmidt: Familiarity with a stranger might mean they're an old soul you knew in a former life. But it's more likely a sociopath. ~Inspirational