@thesulk: "Wanna pop a xanax in the Civic and kayak with mom and dad at noon?" "Can't. Scared." "Of the water?" "No. Palindromes."
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@lucascomedian: I am so sorry to hear about your grandma... I know what you're going through my phone dies all the time.
@iTomFoolery: Tatum is Latin for potato. Channing is from ancient times when someone brilliant was “The Chan”. So Channing Tatum is a brilliant potato.
@LeahTiscione: Don't tell me you're coming to my party on facebook then go for something better last minute ugh have fun at "the wake" or whatever
@shutupmikeginn: Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon