@DaHess1: Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.
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@Sickayduh: Her: *flipping pages* Ya know, everything doesn't have to be about you Me: but that's my autobiography
@AndrewNadeau0: ME: Onions make me cry. HER: It's from a compound called Syn-Propanethial-S-Oxide. ME: I think it's probably cuz an onion killed my parents.
@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.