@briancthayer: Wanna up the awkward while standing in line? Turn around while you wait.
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@Jen_says_nah: Spoiler alert for the lady in this line, repeatedly asking her newborn 'what's wrong?' Its not gonna answer ya.
@Disfordilaudid: Everytime I hold a baby, I have to talk my ovaries down like a hostage negotiator: "18 to life man, I know it smells good. Stay focused."