@usedwigs: Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he’s wrong and you are positive their names are “Batman and Robert”.
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@TheBoydP: I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently
@Ghetto_Trophy: I automatically write off anything Donald Trump says because someone with that much money has no excuse for that hair.
@NicestHippo: People already feel judged in public but what if they also had the same awful feeling in private? GUY WHO INVENTED RELIGION: I have an idea
@Nahdude83: *DJ scratches a sick mix* [crowd goes wild] *DJ scratches a puppy's ear* [crowd "awws"] *DJ scratches Lotto ticket* [crowd "oohs"] *wins $1*