@WilliamAder: Was decorating the front yard last night and one of the neighborhood kids tried to deflate me.
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@AimeeHelene1: The best people always leave this Earth too soon...so I'm pretty sure I'm destined for immortality.
@mattZillaaaa: [street fight] Come at me bro!! *guy rips off his shirt revealing bulging muscles *I rip off my shirt revealing another shirt & run away
@mynameisntdave: RACIST: im a racist! ME: uh oh RACIST: yea I race cars! ME: oh. I dont think u know what racist means RACIST: & I hate Jews! ME: there it is
@Sal0630: If you've never actually got dressed, got in your car & pretended to drive "to work" to get a chick to leave your house then you're not me.