@pondermymaker: *washes your smart car with a moist towelette*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [office] ME: I'm back from vacation! BOSS: It's been 4 1/2 years! You said a week in Venice! ME: No, a week on Venus...which is 1701 days
@ItsAndyRyan: Unfortunately, the house having 'period features' turned out to mean we had to get the decorators in once a month.
@kelkulus: Kim Jong Un has upgraded himself from "Leader of North Korea" to "Supreme Leader of North Korea" by adding sour cream and extra cheese.
@Notoliviasteel: I will probably never be the tallest person in the room, but I will certainly be the highest