@pondermymaker: *washes your smart car with a moist towelette*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SondraDeeMe: [home] FRIEND: How'd family dinner go? ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@Truculent67: Dear people who manually retweet, I hope the next time you're about to get laid someone steps in and does it for you
@DaddyJew: *6 opens piggy bank* Me: wtf where'd you get all that? 6: mommy said I could take $1 out of your wallet each day bc you'd never know