@Dana_Bruno: Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!
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@dave_cactus: ME: Sorry I'm late, I had computer problems. BOSS: Hard drive? ME: Nah, there was no traffic, just the computer problems.
@kwirkyKerri: Nice cargo shorts. You may want to dial back that awesome a little. Not really sure how much I can take.
@Dutch_50: Survey: Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Me: Labels are for soup cans Survey: Can you tell us which way you're leaning? Me: Clam chowder
@TheNardvark: I would describe the cologne on the guy who was just in the elevator with me as "all of it."