@Dana_Bruno: Wasn't wearing my glasses at the park and bent down to pet some guy's gym bag. How's your night going?!
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@briancthayer: Kid 1: Hurt my elbow School Nurse: Here's an ice pack K2: *fever* SN: Ice pack K3: *diarrhea* SN: Ice pack K4: *decapitated* SN: Ice pack
@audipenny: [speaking very loudly to no one trying to impress someone nearby] Man what am I going to do with all these hens
@AhmedAllabidy: Don't go to a fight with a gun or a knife, Bubblewrap yourself, People won't fight when there's bubblewrap
@Cpez38: *points w/ middle finger* "Sure, take this road for about another mile, pull over & go ask someone else" - Me giving directions.