@goldengateblond: Watch 'Titanic' backwards and it's the feel-good story of a ship that rescues a bunch of drowning swimmers and takes them on a dream cruise.
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@ThoughtOtter: *hears crying* *finds baby in dumpster* *sees large box full of N64 games* *looks around* "You didn't see anything, baby." *takes box*
@Just_Lee_: My revenge for being designated driver is putting my car seat warmers on high and convincing my drunk friends that they pee'd in their pants
@B_poling82: Cop: Have you been drinking? Me: *sips beer Cop: That was stupid. Me: So was your question.