@BonaFideIntent: Watching a Kristin Stewart movie. She's being CHASED by ppl who want her DEAD. The CHEESE STICK I'm holding has a more frightened expression
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@Adam_Kingsnorth: Why do they say "character actress"? Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture?
@MarfSalvador: Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house
@ddsmidt: When you call home on a holiday and get passed around, it's worse than being included on a group text.
@MoneypennyNaked: [starts Power Point presentation titled "Why I'm Breaking Up With You"] Him: Wait, what the--? Me: Please hold all questions until the end.