@leechee420: Watching a show about women who choose to give birth outside. Like, let's take the most painful experience of my life and add bugs and shit.
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@JohnMayer: If you’re pretty, you’re pretty; but the only way to be beautiful is to be loving. Otherwise, it’s just “congratulations about your face.”
@P_o_n_k: BEAR: You tryna fight, bro? SHARK: Just name a place BEAR: Parking lot. 4 o' clock. Come alone SHARK: Like...like an underwater parking lot?
@Iwriteforcats: [Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER.