@NinjaSweatpants: Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food
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@JermHimselfish: A great white shark is just a normal shark with khakis and a high credit score.
@joejwest: [deathbed] ME: Give me that sword & I'll haunt it when I die SON: I made this [hands me cake] ME: No! [dies] CAKE: [in my voice] God damn it