@NinjaSweatpants: Watching cooking shows makes you realize how much forehead sweat is possibly in your food
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@rickygervais: The people who shout the loudest about their all powerful God protecting them & delivering them from any evil, also own a gun, just in case.
@NicestHippo: [girlfriend yelling] You have an unhealthy attachment to your pets with weird names! [she knocks over my dead hamster's shrine] GILGAMESH!
@SteveDutzy: Zelda: Why aren't you mowing the lawn? Link: It's raining Z: No it's not L: *Plays Song of Storms* Z: You're sleeping with Epona tonight
@MommaUnfiltered: Me: would you trade me for a younger woman? H: oh honey age doesn't matter! I'd trade for someone who doesn’t talk through the game.