@SortaBad: Waterskiing is fun. I wish there were more sports where machines just dragged you around
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@natalie2111: Have you ever listened to someone talk for a while and started to wonder "who ties your shoelaces for you?"
@withanewname: "Son, you can practice the sex on holes in trees" "DAD?!" [next day] "Where you going with that broom handle?" "Checkin for squirrels"
@ninjadinosaur1: I dropped my popcicle in the tub. I'm awfully sad. It was banana. Now it just tastes like bubble bath.
@NicestHippo: *notices zipper is down* OMG! *zips it up* FRIEND: Thanks but next time just tell me and I'll do it myself