@Home_Halfway: We all make fun of Kristen Stewart for her wide variety of facial expressions, but she'd probably kick all our asses in poker.
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@Bluestmoon_: When someone shows you they don't want to be a part of your life, let them go. I'm not saying you can't make a voodoo doll of them, though.
@darrinfb: You never really realize how messed up your family is, until you start describing them to people that don't know them.
@iTomFoolery: Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I’d call them Tomaskateers.
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, do you like princesses?" "Yes." "Why?" "Well usually they have a nice set of ti-" Wife: "Shut it." "I WILL NOT LIE TO MY SON."