@bourgeoisalien: We can't afford a Trump presidency. The money spent alone on hundreds of new White House door knobs for his wee-baby hands would bankrupt us
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@WorkingMom86: My son plays this game where he's a bowling ball and the bowling pins are everything we own.
@jasonlight73: I like to cover my tracks by ending all my Google searches with the word "hypothetically"
@iwearaonesie: *comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice