@NikiWithIssues: We complain when it's hot. We complain when it's cold. We are such c**ts. That's why ET went home and never came back to visit.
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@AdamBroud: [slowly pushing iceberg in front of titanic] little mermaid: 🎶I'll have gadgets and gizmos a-plenty🎶
@ShortSleeveSuit: Bank robber: I got the money! Let's get outta here! Me [waiting outside on our getaway unicycle]: *rings bike bell*
@Thynebear: *walks up to bouncer* "sorry pal, this is a private country club" *peeks inside* [everybody's fist pumping hard as heck to kenny chesney]