@NikiWithIssues: We complain when it's hot. We complain when it's cold. We are such c**ts. That's why ET went home and never came back to visit.
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@Mitchoacan: Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun.
@Neuronicism: If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Describing the adjective thief to a sketch artist] Sketch Artist: Can you describe what he looked like? Me: Not anymore I can't
@trojansauce: [after frodo throws the ring into the volcano] FRODO: well? VOLCANO: omg yes! FRODO: i love you VOLCANO: i love you too