@NikiWithIssues: We complain when it's hot. We complain when it's cold. We are such c**ts. That's why ET went home and never came back to visit.
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@JennnyJennn20: [married convo] Her: Hey, babe...guess what? Him: What? Her: *whispers* I'm not wearing any panties. Him: You need me to do laundry?
@silent_musings: My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything.
@ScaryMommy: In marriage, there are two conversations: The one you think you're having and the one your husband hears.