@peterjames48: We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, "Good for him."
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@pizzajaynow: Can someone help me figure out how much water I need to add to this baby powder in order to make a baby?
@lovemydogduck: My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
@VerifiedDrunk: 2 Beers = 1 Tweet 5 Beers = 3 Tweets 9 Beers = 7 Tweets 12 Beers = 12 Tweets 24 Teers = 30 Beets
@TheTweetOfGod: It's not that he liked big butts; it's that he could not lie. THAT'S why Sir Mix-a-Lot deserved his knighthood.