@peterjames48: We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted on the fitness trail, and I was, like, "Good for him."
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@therealeatwood: BRAM STOKER: I wrote this 64-page story about a vampire EDITOR: It’s good but can you add 300 pages of vampire hunters tracking a shipment
@geekonursleeve: [table of 6 year olds in lab coats] How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we *bangs fist on table* CAN'T EVEN FIND WALDO?!
@HuttonGray: Why don't they allow computers in prison? Is it because of the escape button? I think it's because of the escape button.
@brennadine: "How was the beach? You hang ten or what?" No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation