@1evilidiot: We had a ninja competition tonight but we don't know if anyone showed up.
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@michaelianblack: The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media.
@Schmoodles: Sometimes I see a baby and think "Aww, I want one!" Then I find my TV remote in the fridge again and think "Yeah, maybe I'm not ready."
@weinerdog4life: Listen buddy, I don't know why I'm doing karate in your bedroom either, sometimes things happen