@weinerdog4life: We have nothing to fear but fear itself, and spiders, and bears, and scientists, and scientists creating spider bears, and science bears
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@badbanana: When I want something a little healthier than an ice cream sandwich, I usually go for an ice cream salad.
@smilely_gal: 7: "Mama, if someone licked the treadmill, would that someone get sick?" Me: "Are you the someone?" 7: "Maybe" Holy hell.
@AristotlesNZ: 5yo: Dad! Dad! Wake up! Me: What? What's wrong? 5yo: You said last night you need to be up by 7.. Me: It's 4am! 5yo: I can't tell time..