@TheTweetOfGod: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." - A man who owned other men.
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@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
@DirtMcTurd: Honey, can we skip that wedding this weekend? "What? Why?" It sounds boring and there's no way that couple makes it.. "It's OUR wedding!"
@dshack8: "Lady In Red" is my favorite song about a guy that's trying to get laid even though he can't remember her goddamn name.