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@freedom2726: "We met in church."
Lies we tell kids.
@ibid78: Well well well if it isn't my old nemesis, long division.
@dave_cactus: HER: Are you free Friday night?
ME: Let me check my colander.
ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti.
@OneFunnyMummy: All that money and sleep was super annoying anyway.
-lies parents tell themselves
@Laser_Cat: Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.
@scott_towel: When the grid crashes and there's no other way of communicating, we'll see whose drum circle is "stupid".