@AnOrangeSNES: We need to overthrow that Tyrannosaurus Rex and democratically elect a Presidentosaurus Rex
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@topaz_kell: If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle.
@novicefather: [william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
@TheTennisPhenom: hello 911, yeah me again. so listen 29 of my recent tweets have been stolen and.. hello? hello?
@click4amanda: Officer: "Do you know why I'm standing here?" Me: "You got all C's in High School?"