@Aspersioncast: We should call them Whether Men, because they don't know whether or not it's going to rain, get it? That's a good one.
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@noduffers: I just called one ex a calculator and another a potential murder victim so if you're looking for metaphors, I'm probably the grapefruit.
@bingowings14: My dad always used to say 'if you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves'. This cost him his job at the zoo.
@underchilde: I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it.