@Aspersioncast: We should call them Whether Men, because they don't know whether or not it's going to rain, get it? That's a good one.
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@Marlebean: [ Anything I buy from now until Christmas, I consider it a gift... ] Kids! Close your eyes and hold out your hands! "Toilet paper?!"
@simoncholland: I asked what I could bring for Thanksgiving this year and my mom said it was up to me so I'm bringing a wireless router.
@novicefather: This guy just climbed through a thicket of waist-high shrubbery to avoid walking past me. That's the kind of anti-social I aspire to be.
@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"