@StellaRtwot: We wouldn't really have any national debt in this country if strippers would just pay their damn income taxes.
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@theNuzzy: After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker.
@chicnlil1: Dear boyfriend, i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. Sincerely, spiders
@AristotlesNZ: 5yo: Can we go get a turtle? They're so cool! Me: Whats so cool about turtles? 5yo: They can breath thru their butts! Me: Grab your coat..