@StellaRtwot: We wouldn't really have any national debt in this country if strippers would just pay their damn income taxes.
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@InternetHippo: me: lord if you’re up there, give me a sign booming voice from above: LOG OFF me: that could’ve been anyone
@TheCiscoKidder: After clipping my toddler's fingernails for over 2 years, I think I could diffuse a bomb while riding a roller coaster.
@AnitaHelmet: I have a thing for older men. Not cuz I have 'daddy issues', but because I also like to eat dinner at 4:30 and be asleep by 8pm.
@thetobbie: When jogging, if i get tired, I insult the people i pass in my head & then imagine having to get away as they chase me...