@WhaJoTalkinBout: Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: The "walk of shame" should be going to a bar the next morning after being drunk looking for your lost debit card.
@mattgallo123: "Don't be shy!" -people who don't understand how genetically determined character traits work
@Storminika: My friend just broke up with her man. I really helped her through the break up by letting her know he's no good in bed anyway.
@NewDadNotes: Dog 911: hello Dog: I accidentally ate the trash Dog 911: crouch low to pretend you are sorry Dog: but I'm not sorry Dog 911: I said pretend