@iscoff: We'd like to sincerely apologize for booking the Karate Convention on the same day as the Rare Wooden Boards Fair
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@david8hughes: [bank] I'd like to pay this into my account [empties pockets full of cat teeth] OMG I'm so sorry [takes card back] that's the wrong account
@elle91: A haiku to my boss who asked me to work this weekend: Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha no
@didifalldown: [God Creating] Lucifer: Make them wake up paralyzed sometimes G: That sounds horrible L: People will love it G: Hm, I trusted you on spiders
@golub: 'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium.