@BlondAmbitionTO: "Weight Watchers" because "Obesity Observers" was too cerebral.
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@numbertze: If you have ever sat in the toilet at work and wondered how long you can sit there before someone searches for you, the answer is 47 minutes
@hippieswordfish: *2 pieces of bread being held hostage* bread 1: any way you slice it we're toast bread 2: we're dead wheat me: did my breakfast just talk
@jngraphs: *Tweets funniest tweet ever *Dies laughing *Over 6 billion die laughing *Germany and Russia survive *Coz nobody left to explain the joke
@envydatropic: According to all these "note to self" sticky notes I am a very forgetful person also I have no idea what these notes mean