@Token_Geezer: Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put some music they don’t like on
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@ericsshadow: One time I fell off a 20ft ladder, then climbed right back up and jumped off a second time to show that ladder who's in charge.
@AbbyHasIssues: *Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name?
@Social_Mime: When I was a kid I thought 40 was really really old and now I've discovered I was right.
@jwoodham: Welcome to Applebee's! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?