@Token_Geezer: Weird how old people suddenly stop being so deaf the second you put some music they don’t like on
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@BritishNicx: Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me, they long to eat your sandwiches.
@TalibJim: ME: bae, you wanna go out? HER: hell yeah 😊 ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone.
@SICKOFWOLVES: I RELATE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP BECAUSE OF THE ROMANCE AND NOT BECAUSE I UNDERSTAND HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO EAT SPAGHETTI WITH A DOG MOUTH