@jwoodham: Welcome to college! Here's a list of our majors. Here's a list of majors that lead to unemployment. As you can see, both lists are the same.
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@IngestMyBabies: If a cop tazed me and then yelled "Raiden Wins!"... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him.
@dlockw21: IT: You deleted the OS? Me: I think so. IT: It didn't warn you? Me: Yeah, but it only kinda warned me. What's with the inquisition bro?
@AbbyHasIssues: I would like to think money won’t change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil.
@ThRealBallsDeep: <at first day of t-ball practice> Me:What's the first rule here, boys? Kid:Don't poop your pants? M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.