@UNTRESOR: Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself.
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@zipoffs: just a good, friendly, light-hearted conversation that for some reason charmin initiated with me
@sirmunchie: My ex wife claims I have "commitment issues" like I didn't just wait in line for 30 minutes to get a hot dog at Costco.
@hammbone84: If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone.
@karanbirtinna: They say you are what you eat. I don't remember eating an embarrassment to my family.