@dinnersruined: Welcome to innuendo club. This is going to be a long and hard session, if you know what I mean.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What's the first step of fire safety? 4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.
@OilCan314: I ate an entire box of delicious Triscuit crackers, and 8 hours later gave birth to a wicker chair.
@SeanINCypress: Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on.