@novicefather: Welcome to kleptomaniac club. I see you already took a brochure.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: OK, time to put up the tree and spend the next six weeks scolding the cat for playing with the dangly remarkably-cat-toy-like ornaments.
@nerdonfire1: Apparently, the words "I'd still hit it" are words best kept to yourself at a funeral
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib