@novicefather: Welcome to kleptomaniac club. I see you already took a brochure.
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@UncleDuke1969: [road trip] DAUGHTER: I have to use the bathroom. ME: *pulls into rest stop* DAUGHTER: Thanks. ME: Make sure you’re back in 5 minutes. DAUGHTER: I will. ME: We accidentally left your brother behind once. DAUGHTER: I don’t have a brother. ME: Exactly.
@flaskofwhiskeyy: Whoever said "out of sight, out of mind" has never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.
@jameslsutter: Imagine if Frodo was all "Sauron's bad, but Gandalf's done some morally gray stuff, too, so I'll stay home." Don't get eaten by orcs. Vote.