@Donna_McCoy: Welcome to Passive Aggressive Club. We all got here early, but you just take your time.
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@dhumann: Psychiatrist: "Your check bounced and was returned for insufficient funds." Me: "So how does that make you feel?"
@murrman5: wife: it looks too tight me: it's fine, let's just go [ten minutes later paramedics have to cut my turtleneck off after I pass out]
@MiddleageM: Him:Wow you came back from your run in record time... Me:It's amazing how fast you can go if you imagine your mother is chasing you...
@RobDenBleyker: Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860.