@JustTashie: Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people.
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@Faceyspace: Initially I thought I would rather catch herpes than feelings. But then I realized herpes are forever.
@PhuckinCody: [first date] HER: i'm really into astronomy ME: [revealing my secret stash of Milky Ways] you don't say
@vulcan_kelly: My cat rolled on my weed tray and now half my weed is stuck in her fur......Do I smoke my cat?
@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.