@topaz_kell: If you look up my hair color history at the salon, you'll think I'm a unicorn.

@AtticusFinch79: [murder scene] Snail detective 1-He left a decent trail SD2- Let's track him down *10 hours later* SD1-Damn that guy is fast

@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: When speaking to children I always end every sentence with "...or else you'll die. " - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool.

@EverydayGirlDad: As a kid playing parent, I never accounted for the 8 hours a week I'd lose taking underwear out of inside out pants while doing laundry.

@WalkingOutside: I've never simultaneously loved something so much and wanted it to shut up as badly as I do with my kids.