@MelvinofYork: Well hello, "Party-Size" bag of Doritos. Welcome to my party! There will be no other guests.
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@thatcarlygirl: "A car I've never seen before just parked outside. We're gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you're not listening to me I said..." - Dogs
@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.
@causticbob: My wife said "You only love me because my father left me a million pounds." "That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"