@brendohare: Well I'm not really sure why you put "Baby: Ages 0-6" on your resume, but more importantly, why were you a baby for so long
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@kelownagoose: Fun game: Select all of your Snapchat contacts and send them a text that says... "Wow...Are you sure that was for me?" And wait.
@robfee: The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called "15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."
@AdamBroud: Anchor:Actress Zooey Dechanel has murdered an entire town Co-Anchor:Lol who murders a whole town A:So quirky C:Haha America's sweetheart
@uncle_fescue: Buddy: her boyfriend was killed? Me: Yeah, she said he was hung like a horse but I'm like, who even kills horses like that?