@Pirate_nurse: Well, Norah on FB has decided to continue her thankfulness through December and I have decided to key her car after dinner
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at Doctor's office] "When's the last time you had sex?" Last night. "With a male or female?" Oh...with another person?
@lazerdoov: Me: check out this new gadget. It carbonates anything! Friend: cool Me: yeah even blood Friend: um I gotta go Me: lol no you're staying
@NicestHippo: The first judge ever was like "When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer" and we were all "Ok that's not insane"