@ibid78: "Well that can't be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
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@iQuoteComedy: Girl: "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Guy: "Both, now get in the van."
@chrissyteigen: I just realized that when I murder someone my neighbors will never describe me as "quiet"
@Jandalize: On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording.
@citizenkawala: Donald Trump has all the resources to be Batman. Instead, he chooses to be Donald Trump.