@Interdome: "Well, very clearly cats were sacred to them." - Archeologist who discovers the Internet
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@UncleBob56: Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk.
@kelkulus: Rather than buy a gun, I've been studying "Home Alone" and now defend my home with marbles and old gangster movies.
@Dee_Aye_Bee: *getting murdered* First time? *sighs* You'll want to lacerate my abdominal aorta. *sighs, puts hand on the bottom of my ribcage* It's here.
@Tha6God: I HAVE BEEN TO FOUR DIFFERENT FABRIC STORES LOOKING FOR THIS 'WIFEY MATERIAL'! WHERE COULD THIS TYPE OF MATERIAL BE!?