@Dr_powpow: Well, well, well, if it isn't my inability to cope with life.
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@RocketRankoon: Facebook: "Hey why are you making dumb jokes?! Some of us are praying over here!" Me: *backs away slowly* [My Twitter origin story]
@addyosmani: Wow, it's a beautiful day outside. I should probably do something. *closes the blinds so there isn't a glare on my screen* ~ Developers
@TheBoydP: It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?
@pixelatedboat: You wanna mess with me, pal? You wanna mess with the saddest man in town? I've got a whole crew of sad boys just waiting to burst into tears